Monday, August 19, 2013

Old man game

Somehow, I have a way of attracting older men. I don't know what it is about me that older men seem to pick up on, but no matter where I go they find me. My good friend MJ gets on me about it all the time. He calls it "old man game."

By old, I mean at least 25 to 30 years my senior. One guy had a daughter older than me. Another was only slightly younger than my dad. Sir, stop. 

These old men swoop in and are relentless in their pursuit. Unlike younger men, or men my age, they absolutely do not take no for an answer. Take this guy that I met at the movie theatre on Saturday afternoon...

He refused to leave me alone. I tried to be nice so as not to hurt grandpa's feelings, but he would not go away. 

Him: "I have a phone. You have a phone. Let me call you sometime. We can talk on the phone." 

Me: "I'm not interested."

Him: "you'll change your mind. Why don't you give me your number for when you change your mind." 

Me: "No, I won't."

Him: "you sure you won't change your mind? I think you will change your mind. Give me your number. Ill call you." 

Me: "No. I won't change my mind"

Him: "I'm not married. Never been married. I got my own apartment. I'm not rich. No, I wouldn't say I was rich. But I have a phone. I'll call you."

Me: *blank stare o_____o

This is what I get for being on time. I was just minding my business, waiting to meet a friend for an afternoon movie. She was running late, so that left pop pop with his grand opportunity to try to score with a young woman. What in the entire hell was this? Why am I such an old man magnet? Whatever it is that I am doing, please let me know so that I can immediately cease and desist because this can't be life. 

SMH ...


PS, his shirt reads: "it's mandatory to grow old. It's optional to grow up." 

PPS, there aren't enough side-eyes in the world for this foolishness. 

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